This may be a drunk post

The Daddy Man you are the best. I love you with every breath and cannot wait to spend another year with you in my life. You cure alll I thought was incureable. You are my dream come true. You allow me to believe and push me to strive. I am forever thankful that I am yours xxxx

Oh New Year what will you bring?

I'm feeling down and need to write. Need to just get it out.
For years I have been the forgiver, family and friends shit all over me and I just keep loving. Keep hoping for the good to come and all the bad to be worth it.
But I'm still waiting and I don't think the good is coming.
I'm too nice. I'm a diplomat. I'm patient.
It sucks because I also get hurt far too often.
Maybe I have a giant sign hanging on my forehead that reads "SUCKER".
I know I'm far from perfect don;t get me wrong. I have many flaws and have made my own fair share of mistakes. But funnily enough while I am forgiving others no one is forgiving me. No one is saying "mate we all make mistakes, pick yourself up and try again". Nope, nothing.


Family judge me because I don't conform to their beliefs.
I don't raise my kids how they think i should.
I don't treat my animals how they treat theirs.
I don't spend my money the way they want.
The list is endless really.

Everyone is different. I don't believe in alot of things they do either. But I hold my tongue because it is their life not mine and who am I to judge? I mind my own business and love people for their kindness and friendship/love. Not for how much money they make, what they do in their free time or who has what.
The Daddy Man says I'm a hippy at heart. I think of rainbows and fairies and love. I'm not hard enough on people and it gets me burnt. Time after time.










Over this past year I have had alot to think about. Am I just searching for acceptance?
It's sad really. I have always felt different and often find myself very alone. The people I hold dearly really don't feel the same about me.
Now that's not a statement I make out of attention seeking or sooking. It's an analysis of the relationships/friendships that I seem to attract. I deserve fulfillment in my life especially when it comes to people i care about deeply. I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I may be slightly screwed up but I'm not a bad person. Maybe it's a matter of low respect for myself? I let people walk all over me and I forgive and forget. But I'm kind of sick of being bitten on the arse.
For the past 25 years I have been seeking acceptance from people who will never give it. I think it's about time I stopped giving a stuff what others think and do what makes me damn happy for a change!


I have a life I love.
Money may be short, kids may be stressful and life may implode at times. But I am lucky and thankful that I am alive and have the chance to enjoy everything positive that surrounds me.


Beautiful children
The Daddy Man
A roof over our heads
Food in the cupboards
Clothing on our backs
Water in our taps
Freedom
Opportunity
Life

I have decided that 2012 is going to be my year. The haters can go and hate somewhere else. I am going to stand tall and do what I want. I will not fear. If people don't treat me with decency that will be their problem and they will miss out on me.


This is my New Year Resolution.
What is yours??

For the past two days i have been tackling children's bedrooms. If i hadn't seen them play with a toy or wear an item of clothing in the past 8 weeks it was going.
According to Cgirl though every item she has is her favourite which ensued a battle.


Mummy against Daughter. Thrower against Hoarder.


I hate "crap" but as a large family it seems to stick with us like clag glue. No matter how much I seem to throw, the little cherry house always seems squished with "stuff".
Every spring I bag and dump/donate winter clothes, every autumn I do the same with summer clothes.
It still doesn't even out.
I don't see my laundry floor often and between 5 kids we have 9 toy boxes (culled from 15). Albeit the kids got about 5 toy boxes worth for Christmas but it is still sending me extremely slightly insane.
I remember pre school days, I would sort my linen cupboard monthly. It's been about a year now. I am getting sick of throwing things in quickly and slamming the door before the rest tumbles out. More cull time.


Shoes are another nightmare in them self. Rarely do i find a matching pair that I want to throw. So i usually just throw one and feel disappointed when i find the other. Clutter = Evil

      On a cuter note

I want to show you one of the gifts The Daddy Man bought me for Christmas. 

Before this gift I had a jar I kept all my loose change in on the kitchen windowsill.

Sure it was depleted often, but when it was full it gave me a smile while i did the mediocre task. The dishes. 

The Daddy Man knows I'm a big kid at heart and I love "goodies" so he got me this and I think it's gorgeous

It says

Mumodactyl

A caring and considerate dinosaur with the loudest squawk around. He said it suits lol

Accepting Imperfections

I have never thought or considered myself the perfect mother.

I suck at housekeeping and sometimes my depression gets in the way.

Sometimes I'm forgetful of packing socks and undies or hats.

I don't believe in helicopter parenting and want my kids to grow up as free as i did.

Climbing trees, exploring and playing with their buddies.

I try to provide my kids with the best I can afford, even if that means more than often, myself missing out.

I like my kids to experience goodies. Soft drinks, lollies and "sometimes" foods.

My kids deserve to feel safe and happy in their surroundings.

I have flaws, many in fact and I attempt to shield them from my kids

Last week I had the mother of all weeks. Right before Christmas.

Honestly most of it is pretty trivial, but one incident sticks out like a very sore thumb

My little boy got hurt, very hurt. 

My oldest is 10 and in 10 years we have never had a serious injury. I counted our blessings and maybe I was feeling a little cocky. My kids have never had a broken bone or serious bump. No sprains or stitches. I was on a roll to safety heaven. The kids could be free within bounds and still wouldn't get hurt.

I never ever ever shower when my kids are awake. I have heard countless stories about parents not watching kids and accidents happening. Wariness is my best friend.

I'm not sure why I decided to have a shower on Friday last week, Cgirl needed me to wash her hair out and I figured since the boys were playing quietly all would be well.

But It wasn't

I heard the most ear piercing scream of my life. Jman and Hboy had decided to drag our coffee table closer to the couch and play "jump off the table, spring on the couch". I didn't have a clue until I ran into my lounge room.

Jman hopped about from foot to foot crying that Hboy was bleeding. As I walked over to Hboy I saw blood. I told Jman soothingly that It would be fine, "we'd just clean him up and whack on a band aid". I grabbed a towel I had ready for Cgirl and scooped Hboy up while compressing his head. As I removed the towel I knew he needed medical help right away. Two angry gaping wounds faced me. He had hit a coffee mug with his head, it shattered.

My heart filled with adrenalin.

 My baby boy needed help NOW.

Cgirl for the first time in her life found HERSELF some clothing and dressed in lightening speed. Jman was in hysterics upset that he had killed his brother and the world was ending.

I distracted Jman by asking him to get together every one's shoes. The poor little darling was a mess.

I had a dilemma, I was home alone and needed to get dressed. I didn't know how serious Hboy's wounds were so didn't want to waste any time calling someone to come over, to hold him while I dressed.

I looked at Cgirl, my tower of strength. My four year old usual troublemaker (but total sweety) was poised. No crying. I laid Hboy down and told Cgirl to come to the edge of the couch and hold the towel on his head. She zipped over without a hint of fear. She held his towel, stroked his legs and soothed him while I got dressed in about 30 seconds (record for me). She is my hero and I am so proud.

We headed for our closest medical centre and as I entered the doors with my 2 terrified kids behind me, holding their little brother in my arms I was pointed to a room out the back.

The wonderful medical centre nurse came in and assessed while a doctor was called. Much to the dismay of the other patients - sometimes you can wait for hours to be seen at said medical centre, sorry guys!!

He was assessed and the Ambo's called. He had fallen asleep in the car and I was so worried about concussion, The nurse told me that sleeping isn't as much a worry anymore when it comes to concussion and that worry was put on the back burner.

The Ambo's arrived in ten minutes. By this time Hboy was sitting up eating a lolly pop asking why he was wearing a giant hat made of bandages. The Daddy Man's Nana came and collected Hboy and Cgirl and Hboy and I made our way to hospital.

Hboy was alert all the way wondering what all the fuss was about. The Daddy Man had arrived and admitted him before we got there, Thanks babe xxxx

After a few hours of observations and the plastic surgeon called in, Hboy was prepped for surgery. This gorgeous 3 year old boy cried twice...TWICE. Once when he hit the floor and the second time when they put his cannula in.

Surgery took roughly 30 minutes and another wound was found. He was stitched and within an hour eating and walking around. We were discharged and set off home.

I had the mum guilt's. I felt like The Worst Mother EVER...In the whole worlddd.

Since it all happened I have had mums all come out, telling me about broken limbs and injuries their kids have had. I'm feeling better, only slightly Post traumatic stress like now.

16 Internal, 26 external stitches. He's still cheeky!!

As for Hboy it's like nothing ever happened, well aside from the giant harry potter stitch on his forehead. But he's not phased. He enjoyed the attention and is carrying on as usual. He gets a bit cranky when mummy pulls him off things he's climbing on. 

He still hasn't learnt.

How was your Christmas??

Today's post is brought to you from my wonderful MIL's house.

They say Christmas is about family, giving and love. This week has been shitty for us as you know. However today there was a shining light in form of my amazing MIL.

Lets just say that my side of the family has a tendency to be slightly dysfunctional and today that blazed like no other day. There was a dreaded family "to do" at my mothers home and The Daddy Man and I left quite early to avoid the storm. However it left us feeling down, on the one day of the year that we should be smiling and joyous. We felt sombre and not as light and happy as we should. The day was dampened. However it seemed apparent that it was not to stay that way.

We attended The Daddy Man's family lunch and had an amazing afternoon laughing, smiling and chatting. Like family should. It was great, there was plenty to eat and the kids were all adorned with praise and gifts. As our spirits rose we prepared for our trip to The Daddy Man's mum, my MIL's house. It is about an hours journey away. The kids fell asleep on the trip, I was super sun burnt and we were all desperate for sleep.

Arriving at my MIL's house we delved into more laughter and talking. Food was brought out and consumed quickly. Dessert was dished and afterwards we may have all fallen into a slight food coma. She made us happy and for that I am thankful. We love her so very much.

Because of the distance we are staying the night. The chillies are sleeping, the adults are yawning and Christmas is over for another year. The Daddy Man will be working boxing day and we wont get much downtime this week.I have toys to sort and paper to throw. Boxes to dismantle and wine to consume. Hopefully the new year will be a new beginning and smiles we be a plenty.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and the kids got all the goodies they wanted.

Merry Christmas alllll

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/oCaw3Z84w2u9caF5

Please watch.

Dear 2011, we are no longer friends!

On tuesday I blogged this post - Worst week ever
I hoped my week would get better towards christmas. I mean it's not like it could get any worse right??
Apparently it could.


None of my children have required stitches or broken limbs. They have never bumped their heads or touched something hot. I always counted my lucky stars for having such healthy and unaccident prone as possible children.
But it was not to last.

My darling 3 yr old son Hboy had a nasty accident today, jumping off a table.
He scared me to death and required loads of stitches but he is okay.
We spent 8 hours at the Mater childrens hospital in brisbane.
 We Had amazing doctors, nurses and one fantastic plastic surgeon.
After a small surgical procedure Hboy came home doing well.
I cant stress enough how wonderful this medical team were.
I am really a bag full of emotions at the moment. 


The accident occored while I was rinsing my daughters hair in the shower.
My poor baby boy got hurt and I kept it together.
I do have the mummy guilts though...only a split second..

Over this christmas please don't take your eyes off your little ones.
 Injuries can be seriously scary.
I am thanking santa for this christmas luck.

New Friends

Kids make new friends so easily. 
Its all "Hi wanna play" and off they go doing what kids do.
 Kids don't see flaws quite as easily as adults. 
They don't judge and they welcome new friends with glee.
Adults on the other hand are more closed off. In this rat race we call life making friends can be difficult for some and others just aren't interested.


 Because I was a teenage mum alot of my school friends dropped out of the picture, not that I minded much because most of them were dicks but it did leave me lonely at times.


 Over the past years being an adult, I have found I am alot more wary of people than I was as a kid. I don't take crap easily, I am not very forgiving and I guess in some ways give off an unfriendly vibe at times.
 I can be very shy, I find walking into a room full of strangers daunting. I will stand on the sidelines watching friendships and wish my tiny circle were there with me.




 The Daddy Man is my best friend followed by my lovely mate Mayzie, although she is almost twice my age we click fantastically.  I do have a small circle of friends who see one another here and there. I believe in quality over quantity.
But I don't usually have alot of time for social endeavours, raising so many kids keeps me as busy as a bee and sometimes quite lonely. I have chosen my new years resolution. 


To be more open, forgiving and receiving to friendship in the new year. 

Today my new years resolution came in early. My local shopping centre has a Kmart and for the Chrissy presents we needed it meant i had to venture into the unknown to bigger shops. By myself. On a bus.


It was my second bus ride in 15 years so it was a little scary. 
I didn't understand the new ticketing system, had no idea how to use the buzzer or even where to sit. 


But alas I met two angels and can honestly say my day was nothing like I planned. My Mum babysat for me so off I went alone to a bigger shopping centre all by myself.


 At the bus stop I started chatting with two younger girls about the gorgeous baby they had in a pram. This resulted in a full days shopping with two virtual strangers.


 I had a ball.

 We had lunch and talked about our lives, our kids and our partners and formed new friendships. It was exciting...but odd. Who the H meets a person at a bus stop then spends an entire day  helping them push trolleys and loading Xmas gifts?...Miss V and Miss J. It was awesome and I no longer fear buses. After six exhausting hours of shopping we all went our separate ways with contact details and plans to meet up again after Xmas. They are laid back, friendly and encouraging and that is definitely something I need in my life.


The advice I would like to give is -  Sometimes we need to be brave, striking up conversation can lead to wonderful times with new friends everywhere. 


I am very excited about seeing what the New year brings to my life. 


What is your New Year Resolution?

Worst Week

This week has been the shit of all weeks. 

Our beautiful kitty died yesterday

We have had issues with our Internet connecting.

The Daddy Man has been working huge hours so I have actually had to do my SAHM job and feed and bathe and entertain my kids!! (I love it really)

I tried to take the kids to see Santa but after two visits with family and friends they were too grotty to be photoed

My wisdom tooth broke

My big boy, Tman, has been quite sick

My dads side of the family have been having a shit storm and attempting to involve me

All in the week before Christmas!!

I loved Christmas... until this year.

But every cloud has a silver lining and I can't mope for too long

It is the week before Christmas and I have sooo much stuff to wrap

 I am super excited that my Internet is working PROPERLY again

I won my first even blogger comp, over at Mrs BC's House of Chaos, a bakers delight voucher...WOOHOO, Thanks Lisa!!

Thanks to my awesome mummy I am having a kid free shopping trip on Thursday

My sick Mr Tman lost another tooth on Monday, we now call him gummy he he

I am going to try harder this week to be cheery after all it is that time of year.

Here's hoping the week gets better.

Christmas is cancelled!!!!

School holidays have set in... ICK


It's not that I don't like my kids, they are the bee's knee's when they are behaving. I just get sick of the "mum, she hit me" or "mum he wiped boogers on me". 


 I.DON'T.CARE.


I have a permanent headache, I am sick of grinding my teeth and as if the house wasn't a pigsty enough. The kids are in full swing holiday mode!

Today we wanted the kids to clean their bedrooms. Their rooms resembled WW3. 
The rest of the house was super tidy but I neeeeded their rooms to match. Ensue shit stink.

piggysty!!

(Hum the 12 days of Christmas whilst reading)


12 rounds of whining
11 sounds of farting
10 pieces of Lego
9 dolls on floors
8 pieces of clothing
7 cups and plates
6 broken toys
5 schooool bagss
4 kids being brats
3 pieces of bread
2 flash lights
and a pissed off mummy yellingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Realistically there was a lot more on their floors but it's Christmas!!


Well....It was Christmas


We put our Christmas tree away today. We gave lectures about Santa not coming to pigsty's or he'd break his legs tripping.We told them if things didn't change, that all their pressies that they have scoped out in the Christmas cupboard are going to other children, who will deserve them.
I have never before seen so many little legs, move so quickly..

So anyway the demons eventually cleaned up their hovels with only a dash of help and I decided we would watch my favourite Christmas movie. 

Elf

I swear it doesn't matter how many times I watch this movie I always end up laughing hysterically and crying. It is such an awesome movie. I think I will still watch it when I am 80!!


Do you have a favourite Christmas movie??

My top 30 CHEAP, no toy christmas gifts, for kids!

We all know how expensive Christmas is. Budgets get blown, stress is ripe and headaches are plenty.


Like myself your children probably have shit loads of toys that you always say you will sort through. 

SO here is my top 30 no toy Christmas list.

 The gifts listed are fantastic for stocking fillers, friends children, nieces, nephews and so on. 
 Most of the presents I have listed cost less than $20 a pop.

1. Character Hats - These range from $5-$20 there is generally a wide range available
2. Crafts - Whether you make you own kit or purchase a pre made one yourself
3. Personalised items - Books, baubles, towels, stickers, name tags
4. Sandals - If all kids are anything like mine they will go through a few pairs a year.
5. Doona sets - Although character brand doona sets are usually expensive, alot are on sale at xmas
6. DVDs - Most retail stores sell kids DVDs for under $10
7. Popcorn machine - You can pick these up for under $20
8. Milkshake machine - Also for under $20...may increase milk consumption though!
9. Watches - You can get a bargain for under $20
10. Puzzles - Wooden puzzles are great for Little's
11. Baking sets - Have a budding chef in the family? pick up pieces weekly or buy a pre made pack.
12. Costumes - All kids love to dress up and around Xmas stores put these on sale.
13. Bedroom nameplates - You can make these (especially if it isn't a popular name) or buy pre made
14. Bubbles - Bubble machines or even the little packs..all kids and lots of adults love bubbles
15. Books - Educational, fun and don't cost an arm and a leg.
16. Colour coded plate sets - Big families love these...trust me!
17.  Pre made ginger bread house - We received one last year and the kids loved it!
18. Lunch box - You can find gorgeous thrifty priced lunch boxes for around $15 .. mum will thank you!
19. Electric toothbrushes - They RRP roughly $10-$15 and kids love whizzy teeth
20. Kids towels - I know we always need new towels so they definitely come in handy
21. Jewellery box - Little girls love something to put their bits and bobs in
22. Ant farm - Boys and girls can have hours of fun...as can mum 
23. Pillow pets - We have all heard the annoying song but the pets are cheap and snugly
24. A ball - Every child loves a new ball. They are inexpensive, fun and keep kids active
25. Movie tickets - Why not treat the whole family.
26. Bike Helmet - Not overly expensive and safe!
27. Console Game - Depending on what console you are buying for you can find bargains everywhere
28. Create your own shirt - Craft shops have these in supply. Let kids decorate and wear their shirt.
29. Wall stickers - Kids love a colourful bright room and they wont break the bank
30. A diary or journal.

Most of this list would suit 3-10 year olds.

What not to buy someone else's child:

• Play dough - It will only end badly
• Underwear - We usually get sooo many pairs I don't know which way is up
• Gift cards - I hate being hounded for weeks after Christmas by the kids "when we will be spending our gift cards, mum???" "never you little toads"
• Noise makers - Whether they are instruments or singing toys - Parents will hate you
• Christmas teddy bears - Each of my child has one for the year they were born. But they are huge and an excess of them will probably be given away
• Pens/Pencils/Crayons - Parents will again hate you because you aided their child in scribbling on the walls
• Stickers - I go nuts every time I find stickers stuck to everything in sight
• Religious items - Unless the family are religious play safely.

I usually ask the mums before purchasing a present for their child. Maybe there are things she would appreciate they receive. Excess is waste so try to fit in with gifts that would suit.

How to get your neighbours to hate you.

I had the misfortune of a nasty word exchange with my neighbour today.
I always thought she seemed nice enough, would wave as we went in and out or give a smile. 
She helped us jump start our car once too...thanks...BITCH

My neighbour is like this woman

Here is my 101 on how to get your neighbours to hate you.

• Do abuse your neighbours children for standing on your footpath. I wonder how much you paid the council?
• Do abuse the child's mother because her child is standing on said footpath
• Do call your neighbour a fat sl*t 
• Do allow your dog to bark all day because you are at work and all night because you are too lazy to shut it up
• Do "sick" your dog onto your neighbour and her child. It will end well.
• Do give your thoughts and judgements on everyone in the street's lifestyles at the top of your voice
• Do hang giant flashing Christmas lights and keep them flashing all year long!
• Do get up at 5:30am every Saturday morning and mow your lawn (I kid you not!!)
• Do peak into your neighbours windows to check out what they own..
• Do allow your daughters boyfriend to rev his super loud skyline every morning at approximately 1:30 am...we will love you for it!!
• Do piss a mother off
• Do fill your neighbours rubbish bin every Wednesday so they cannot use it.
• Do park your cars and allow your visitors to park their cars across your neighbours driveways
• Do be a rude bitch in general and assume the general population owe you an arm and a leg
• Do allow your gate to have an almighty ear piercing squeak.
• Do live in a street full of families who enjoy being friendly while being a giant mole

Unfortunately of late I have been trying to be far more polite than in previous times. And unfortunately It doesn't seem to be getting me very far. 

I wish the world was perfect.

Today's blog was inspired by Lady Fabulous from B-M-Idontcare

From what I have read over the past few weeks, she is an indescribably resilient woman. She has had many a knock yet picks herself up and knocks right back. Time after time. My hat goes off to you.

I  have never had problems conceiving, in fact at times I have had problems not conceiving.

 Let me explain. 

It has been a running joke in our family for years that The Daddy Man has to only walk past me and I will be with child.

 I was a teen mother three times (2 alive and one in heaven), I was an early 20's mother three times.

 Coming from a tiny family of English expats I wanted 8 kids and people would laugh at me. 

Eventually The Daddy Man and I reached a decision that 4 would suit.

And then came along little Hboy with his whole "surprise, I'm coming" and we settled for 5. 

I have always been a maternal person, the new baby smell sends shivers of excitement down my spine. Having a baby/toddler/child on each hip was a meant to be for me, I am lucky enough to have achieved that.

 I believe that every couple that yearns for children deserves that choice.

 It is my belief that couples who have difficulty conceiving or sustaining are robbed of the most precious gift life can give.

My heart aches for the couples who desperately desire what I have. 

 And as my 5 chillies snore in their beds metres away from me, I am thankful. 

I am lucky, Oh so super duper gigantically lucky.

I was a child of the system, the foster care system.

 Although my stay was fairly brief I was surrounded by children who would not leave until they became an adult.

 Their parents did not give a toss or they were placed in this system because of unsafe and FUCKED UP situations.

 I remember one of the other children who stayed in the same home as I did, tell me about her mother using drugs in front of her, hiding syringes in her younger siblings nappies and leaving drugs in easily accessible places. Another child had suffered horrific sexual and physical abuse at the hands of people who were meant to cherish their gift. Their child.

Thinking back It makes me feel so very sad. All I can think is WHY???

 Why can people who would be wonderful suitable parents not conceive or sustain, yet the dregs of the planet breed like rabbits.

I rarely judge..Amazing parents come in all forms. Young, Older, Old.

But so do shit parents.

 I wish it was a perfect world, oodles would be different.

Chookie man (Jman)

Nearly 6 years ago I gave birth to you.
 I got very sick afterwards.

 Within a few months of becoming your mummy I went back to work. The Daddy Man stayed home and played with you, fed you, changed you and did all the things I should of. But I couldn't. I had a very evil sickness inside me called postnatal depression. It made me believe stupid things and feel the saddest feelings. I don't remember alot about the first year of your life. The evil sickness made me forget special little memories that a mummy should never forget.

 When you turned one, my evil sickness went away. We moved house, you started to walk, you started to talk, your smile was infectious. But when you hurt yourself you didn't cry for mummy, when you had things to announce you didn't tell mummy,you didn't come to me for cuddles and you didn't like food i made. You saw The Daddy Man as your mummy and that made me very sad.

 We had your sister 18 months after you were born and mummy did okay. I didn't get as sick and I didn't work. The Daddy Man went off to work. You got very cranky at me because I didn't do things like he did, You yelled at me often and got into everything within reach. You wanted your daddy...who was your mummy.

 Your little brother was born when you were 3 and a half. Mummy got sick again but not as sick as when I had you. You and I got to know one another slowly, we went shopping together and played with transformers and your abundance of lightening mcqueen toys. You let me push you on the swings and laughed when I tickled your belly. You gave me cuddles and we went for eye and ear tests together. Mummy got better slowly and our love bloomed. You still threw tantrums that made my ears drums cringe, but you let me cuddle you and calm you down.

 Just before you turned 5 you started school. You hated school. You loved to learn but hated doing that at school. Half way through the year The Daddy Man and i spoke with you teacher, we walked away proud that you were in the top 5 students of your grade. We were told about how you make others laugh and hug them when they are sad. She told us about your gorgeous personality (which we knew about anyway) and how you made her smile everyday. I watched you do puzzles in class calmly and laughed at your creative collages. I am so proud.

 Mummy is nearly all better and you are amazing. I love how close we are now.

•  I love the way you say my name and ask for cuddles.
•  I love that you read with me every night. 
• I love that you arent angry anymore. 
• I love your darling smile and your nibbly ears.
•  I love that you taught your older siblings and nanny how to use the computer. 
• I love that you still have your sleeping buddy george and thank me every time he gets washed. 
• I love that you love cats and google Lego cats every afternoon.
•  I love that you make your brothers and sisters roar with laughter because you are a clown.
•  I love that you have my voice and sing like a dream.

You and your big brother

 Everyday you make my sickness fall away faster and faster. 

Most of all though babyboy I love that I am your mummy and that you love that too!!

Do you have a phobia??

I do.

It all started when I was about five years old. One day out playing, I noticed all the neighbourhood kids in a circle surrounding one of the older ones. Being that I was an inquisitive child I had to know what was going on. So I ran over to check out the goss. The older boy was holding something and I couldn't quite see what it was through the older kids, so I moved in closer for a better look. Everyone was oohing and ahhing at what this older boy was holding. All I could see was something wiggly and grey. I was desperate to see what it actually was so pulled the older boys hand down to face level. 

What happened next will haunt me forever!


I felt something clamp around my nose, something was biting me with sharp teeth and a vice like grip. I screamed and all I could see was grey. I tried to brush it off but the disgusting little creature hung on for dear life. My 5 year old life passed before my eyes as I was surely going to die. 
Eventually the older boy removed the grey wiggler of doom. I finally got to see what had attacked me.


 A baby frill necked lizard.

not the culprit but similar

This one incident sparked a 20 year fear of anything lizard like. 
When i see a lizard chills run up my back and a panic attack comes on. I run...usually squealing as loud as i can


I can't stand when summer hits and the geckos come out the play. Their tick tick noise freaks me out....are they coming for me?


Skinks in the garden will send me screaming.
The Daddy Man found an injured skink a few years ago and he and the boys decided to nurse it back to health. They used an old fishtank, fed it lizard food and built it a habitat. My eyes rarely left that tank ,positive the tiny weeny skink was going to eat me in my sleep.


I fear little. Spiders, snakes, toads, dogs, birds and bugs i can all handle fine...but bring a lizard in my near vicinity and I will be climbing as high as possible.


Note: I DID NOT enjoy finding the pic above