How to get your neighbours to hate you.

I had the misfortune of a nasty word exchange with my neighbour today.
I always thought she seemed nice enough, would wave as we went in and out or give a smile. 
She helped us jump start our car once too...thanks...BITCH

My neighbour is like this woman

Here is my 101 on how to get your neighbours to hate you.

• Do abuse your neighbours children for standing on your footpath. I wonder how much you paid the council?
• Do abuse the child's mother because her child is standing on said footpath
• Do call your neighbour a fat sl*t 
• Do allow your dog to bark all day because you are at work and all night because you are too lazy to shut it up
• Do "sick" your dog onto your neighbour and her child. It will end well.
• Do give your thoughts and judgements on everyone in the street's lifestyles at the top of your voice
• Do hang giant flashing Christmas lights and keep them flashing all year long!
• Do get up at 5:30am every Saturday morning and mow your lawn (I kid you not!!)
• Do peak into your neighbours windows to check out what they own..
• Do allow your daughters boyfriend to rev his super loud skyline every morning at approximately 1:30 am...we will love you for it!!
• Do piss a mother off
• Do fill your neighbours rubbish bin every Wednesday so they cannot use it.
• Do park your cars and allow your visitors to park their cars across your neighbours driveways
• Do be a rude bitch in general and assume the general population owe you an arm and a leg
• Do allow your gate to have an almighty ear piercing squeak.
• Do live in a street full of families who enjoy being friendly while being a giant mole

Unfortunately of late I have been trying to be far more polite than in previous times. And unfortunately It doesn't seem to be getting me very far.