Bye bye, fatstuff!

I had a bit of a set back today. Basically I'm trying really hard at the moment to lose weight.


 A few months ago i learned that i was prediabetic and this has scared the beejesuz out of me. As a teenager i was quite lean and a great runner so i guess my weight gain started  after i gave birth to a very sick baby, 10 years ago. She passed away and i turned to food to cope.


 Growing up my sisters and i rarely ever had takeaway food or sugary goodies, mum always made home cooked meals. Back then having takeaway once or twice a year was the norm. Not like now when its once a week or more for most families.


 I guess when i left home and discovered this whole new world of prepackaged food i got excited. I started spending big dollars on every meal coming from one or the other, of the nasty food chains. When i left home I didn't know how to cook very well ( meals consisted of meat slabs and frozen veggies), and i found it rather boring to learn. Measuring and weighing ingredients along with cooking on temperatures other than high seemed very foreign to me. When i discovered the sordid world of laden fat food i went wild. Deep fried anything was and has always been my biggest weakness. Even up until 'The Daddy Man and i had been together for a few years we ate crap. total and utter artery blocking crap!!
 It was only when we had a family and realised that fast food for more than two mouths costs a fortune  did we start learning how to make delicious nutritious meals.


However i have always over indulged. Bad foods constantly screamed (still do) at me to just have one taste, which ALWAYS ended up in me binging in shocking amounts. About 2 years ago i really tried to lose weight. I tried a weight loss drug and lost about 30kgs in 3 months. However the second i stopped taking it, the weight seemed to pile on with a vengeance.


 My depression never helped, food was comfort as opposed to fuel. Taste filled my body with happy endorphins and took my mind of my life worries. But it also made me gain weight at an alarming rate. I know I'm not shocking to the eye (clothed) and i have had a number of people tell me how pretty i am, if only i wasn't so fat!


3 months ago I'd had enough and decided that at 25 years of age i need to rectify this problem so i am around to see my grand babies. I also want to be fitter so that i can play with my kids properly, run again, and have the energy i miss so very much. So for 3 months straight i have been walking, 2kms nearly every day. I still have occasional binge outs and i know I'm not eating enough of the right foods, but i have been slowly changing my behaviours. Unfortunately today the scales tell me i haven't lost anything, not a love handle, not a back boobie, a BIG FAT nothing!!!


But like in the past i can either choose to give up, have a giant sook and eat some kfc. Or i can decide to work harder and exercise more, eat better and really change things! I have decided to choose the latter, I have to try harder.
 My goal is to wear a size 12 denim skirt, without wobbly bits hanging over my waist band!


 Years ago i read this book The clothesline diet and it really inspired me, this woman was so embarrassed about her size that she stomped around her clothesline for weeks on end and slowly but surely she burnt the dreadful extra kilograms. She had her own sufferings and sadness, along with a beautiful family that she knew she had to get fit for. She did it and i know i can too!


 I have looked into diets and exercise plans, but right now i;m not the most organised person. With 4 chillies and 'The Daddy Man' to look after i don't get much free time. And when i do i much prefer doing things like going shopping or getting my hair/nails done. I do however walk our boys to school and back every afternoon. It exhausts all of us but daily i see my energy levels raising. I guess my whole point to this post is, I want to survive that dreaded 'O' word (obesity). My sisters are both fit and healthy, they have kids so i cant use that excuse.


So it's time to harden up and lose this FAT!!!